Chinese spiders have six legs

It's that time of year, when the summer merchandise is put on clearance and we enter Pumpkin Time.  With Halloween a mere month away, we have begun displaying our spooky wares, including spider decor.  We have these metal bases that pumpkins can rest on, with spider legs, so it looks like the pumpkin is a spider.  I was impressed with this idea, and had resolved to purchase several for myself for the upcoming fall season.  Spider pumpkins!  How cute!  For weeks, I have stared at these pumpkin holders, which by the way can also hold candles, but it was not until recently that I really saw them for the first time.
They have six legs.
A normal human brain tends to see what it expects to see, filtering out things that don't make sense, which is why when people read the the in a sentence, they usually only see one "the."  I'm going to use that as the reason I never noticed our spiders were missing a few limbs.
Now, I have nothing against things that are made in China or India or anywhere else, but when a manufacturer spits out a gem like this, I have to wonder:  Maybe Chinese spiders only have six legs.  Or maybe they think that American spiders have six legs.  Or maybe they were actually going for a pumpkin water bug.  I will never know.
We also sell another style of spider base which does, in fact, have eight legs.  I checked.  This one, I would assume, also comes from China.  It may even come from the very same provider; I don't know.
So you tell me:  Why does my pumpkin spider have six legs?  Or, being part pumpkin and part spider, is it enough of a mutant already?

Do you have any plants? (Scene II)

Scene II:  This is so special that I have to share it with you.  The setting is the same, but the time is much later.  It's almost fall, and the front of the store is bursting with mums and millet.  I am so sick of mums already, and the season has barely begun.  Inside, the greenhouse looks naked without its bounty of annuals, stripped down to a small pile of pottery and a few tables of houseplants.  The register sits just in front of the main houseplant table, so it's easy for the cashiers to tend to houseplants, and more likely for customers to make impulse buys on the plants nearest the register.  It's a slow day today, so I have a moment to converse with our cashier, Bobbie.  A customer approaches.
He enters the greenhouse and approaches the register.  He makes eye contact with Bobbie, so directs his question toward her.
"Do you have any plants?"
I watch Bobbie's face with amusement.  I can read the thoughts going through her head, just as I had them earlier with my own plant-seeking customer.  Her mouth moves up and down a few times, like a fish breathing in water.  She makes brief eye contact with me, and almost loses it.  Finally, she speaks.
"What kind are you looking for?" she says, in the same slow, unsure tone I had used myself.
This seems to throw the gentleman off guard.  There are kinds of plants?  He has to think about this one.
"House plants," he decides.
Bobbie twirls her finger, motioning for him to turn around.  "Right behind you," she says, relieved that she has cracked the code this easily.
The man frowns.  "These?" he says skeptically.  The look on his face clearly indicates that he does not believe he is looking at houseplants.  Perhaps he thinks we are trying to pull a fast one on him, like we're going to show him just the plants that will die if he even thinks of bringing them inside.
"Yes," says Bobbie, trying to be perky.  "Both of these tables are houseplants."
By this point I'm just glad the gentleman chose to talk to Bobbie and not me.
"Do you have any snake plants?" he tries.
"Yes!" says Bobbie, again relieved that she may understand what the customer wants.  She leads the customer to the proper section, and I take the opportunity to vacate the premises, sure that Bobbie can handle any snake plant questions the customer may have.
So my question to you is:  What's your most creative response to the question,
"Do you have any plants?"
Because it's becoming a common thing around here.

Excuse me, where are your plants?

Scene 1:  Inside the greenhouse.  The setting: As you approach Bob's Greenhouse, you are first greeted by a multitude of annuals.  As you walk past the front gate, tables upon tables of flowers greet you.  Enter the main greenhouse, and you are surrounded from floor to ceiling in more annuals.  Outside are rows upon rows of perennials, trees, shrubs, edibles, and garden decor.  Today, we find Miss Frodo watering hanging baskets and flats of petunias toward the rear of the greenhouse.  A middle-aged man approaches, looking anxious.
"Excuse me," he says, "Where are your plants?"
Miss Frodo blinks.
"I can't find any plants.  Do you have any?"
There are several responses ready to come out of my mouth, but none seem adequate in this situation:  "No, I'm afraid we're fresh out of plants."  "Sir, if you can't see any plants, I don't think I can help you."
Very slowly, I said, "What kind of plants?"
"You know," he replies, "Plants."  He seems very frustrated that I don't seem to know what a plant is.  The feeling, at this point, is probably mutual.
"Um," I say helpfully.  I glance around at the hundreds of specimens in this room alone.
"Plants," he tries again.    Now, we're about to get somewhere.  "You know, seedlings."
I consider all baby plants to be "seedlings."  He's ruled out some perennials as well as the larger trees on our property.  I furrow my brow, hoping to receive some telekinetic signal from him.
After a short period of struggle, he utters the magic word: "Vegetables."  Ah!  Yes, we have lots of those.  Right out front.  He probably walked past them without even knowing.  But then, how can you blame him?  All he wanted was to find some plants.

Welcome to Bob's Greenhouse!

My name is Miss Frodo, and I work at a garden center.  Because it's a fairly large and well-known store in my area, I won't tell you its name; instead, I'll call it Bob's Greenhouse.  This will hopefully become a blog about my experiences with Bob's over the years, and maybe at some point I'll even post helpful advice about plants.  However, right now it's just a way to tell you about our delightful customers and experiences.  If I manage to offend anyone, I am truly sorry.
Ha ha!  Just kidding.  I've been offended and insulted by so many customers, that if you take offense, chances are you deserve it.  If you are yourself a lowly greenhouse worker, and have an amazingly delightful and insightful story you'd like to share, please share with us.  And welcome to Bob's Greenhouse!